A Kiss Is A Terrible Thing To Waste
by K.C.Dragonfly
Summary: Catherine has developed a little crush, but what to do about it? Cara. Title is based on a Meat Loaf song if anyone's interested
1. Chapter 1

**Hi again :) New story for y'all. Hope you like, leave a review to let me know what you think. **

**Disclaimer: Still own nothing. **

**Chapter 1**

"Alright, spill." Catherine looked up swiftly at her sister.

"What?"

"What aren't you telling me?" Nancy elaborated.

"I'm not telling you anything." Catherine said indignantly, resuming staring into the bottom of her coffee.

"I know you're not, I want to know what you're not telling me." Nancy replied coolly, taking a sip of her drink. Cath looked back up and furrowed her brow.

"No, I mean I'm _not_ not telling you..." She stopped and scowled. "Shut up. You're confusing me." Unfazed, Nancy smiled.

"You're getting snappy. It must be big."

"It's noth... I am not snappy!" Cath barked.

"Then stop snapping at me." Nancy continued in that frustratingly calm voice. Nothing more to say, Catherine scowled some more. "Come on Cathy, tell me what's wrong." The younger sister urged.

"No." Cath responded petulantly. Nancy sighed.

"Look, we both know you're going to tell me eventually so you may as well save us both the effort." She reasoned. Cath looked down but her eyes shifted up to Nancy's uncertainly. She bit the inside of her cheek thoughtfully. "You know you want to." Nance sang playfully. Catherine paused, and then sighed.

"Well..." She started slowly.

"Yes..." Nancy probed, smiling brightly with the knowledge that she had broken her big sister's resolve.

"I've sort of started to ... recently... I've been attracted to someone I shouldn't be." She confessed with a nervous laugh.

"That makes a change." Nancy snorted sarcastically, bringing her mug to her lips. Catherine scowled and continued, deadpan:

"It's a woman."

Nancy choked on her coffee, nearly spitting it across the table. Cath just sighed miserably and rested her head on hands. "I knew you'd say that."


	2. Chapter 2

**Much longer chapter this time :) Thank you for the reviews and alerts, I'll try to keep updates quick. x**

**Chapter 2**

"A woman? Like a female?"

"No I'm pretty sure she's of the male variety." Cath stated dryly. "Of course she's female!"

"But...but...but who?" Nancy stuttered, shaking her head.

"Not telling." Cath murmured.

"Oh Come on. You've told me this much, who is it?" She gasped, "Ooh, Is it someone I know?"

"No." Catherine insisted sullenly.

"It is isn't it? Oh my God, who is it? Oh my God, is it Rose? No, no, too prissy for you. Oh, is it Maggie?" Nancy rattled off excitedly until Catherine put a stop to her speculations.

"Stop that! It's no one you know. It happens to be someone from work." She instantly regretted the words as soon as they left her lips. The smug grin on her sister's face confirmed her fears.

"Sara."

"Damn it." Cath groaned quietly.

x x x x x

"Sara! Oh my God! Sara!" Nancy rambled excitedly, which was not helping Catherine, who currently had her face buried in her hands. "Sara ... what was her surname again?"

"Sidle." Catherine mumbled.

"That's it. Sara Sidle." Nancy grinned triumphantly. "My god, how many times have you and her fought like cats, and all this time it was just sexual tension." She chuckled.

"We don't fight, we have ... disagreements. And besides, it's only recently that I've... you know." She dropped her head onto her folded arms on the table miserably. Nancy was still smiling manically, greatly enjoying her sister's dilemma.

"Isn't she like ten years younger than you?"

"Nine and a half." Catherine corrected indignantly.

"Much better."

"Not helping Nance." She grumbled. The younger woman laughed gleefully. "Oh well I'm glad you're getting a kick out of this." Cath snapped, taking her coffee and wandering out onto the deck.

"Oh Cathy come back." With a pang of guilt Nancy followed her and sat on the steps next to her. They were silent for a moment. "Does she swing that way?" she asked eventually.

"No."

"Are you sure? Maybe she keeps it quiet. Has she ever dated a woman before?"

"How the hell should I know? That's not exactly the sort of thing you ask a colleague over a coffee break." She sighed, running a tired hand through her hair.

"Maybe you should." Nancy suggested, but regretted it when she saw the look on Cath's face.

"Oh sure, I can see how that would go: 'hey Sar, random question, have you ever slept with a woman before?' she'd think I'd gone mad."

"Okay, point taken." Nancy conceded. "Well, does she even know you like her?" Cath chewed on the inside of her cheek again.

"Maybe."

x x x x x

"_Y'all up for breakfast?" Nick asked, buttoning up a clean shirt. _

"_Am if you're buying." Warrick answered in his smooth voice. _

"_Count me in." Sara added, pulling her T-shirt off, purposefully keeping her back to the guys. Catherine said nothing. Her eyes were fixed on the newly exposed skin of the brunette. Where she was sat on the bench she could see most of Sara's body, including part of what appeared to be a rather large tattoo curling up her right side. She was so lost in her thoughts that she had not even realised she was staring straight at Sara's chest. "Catherine?" The blonde snapped her eyes up, latching them onto suspicious brown ones. "You okay?" Sara asked with concern, feeling ever so slightly self-conscious. _

"_Yeah, am good." The blonde croaked, her throat peculiarly dry. _

"_Breakfast?" Nick repeated slowly, eyeing her strangely. _

"_What? Oh, no, I've got to pick Lindsey up. Later guys." She said hurriedly. She left in such a hurry that she nearly forget her bag, lying on the bench, and swung around with suck force to grab it that she nearly knocked Sara over. Out in the coolness of the corridor she leant her back against one of the glass walls and took a deep breath. What was wrong with her?_

x x x x x

"You were checking her out?" Nancy asked in disbelief, scrunching her nose up. Catherine had resumed her position with her head buried in her arms, which were resting on her knees this time. "You were staring straight at her chest while she was getting changed and you don't think she knows?"

"It gets worse." Cath continued in a muffled voice.

x x x x x

"_Any luck?" Cath asked, sauntering into the AV lab where Sara's eyes were fixed on the computer screen. _

"_I think so." Sara said, not looking up. Cath placed one hand on the back of Sara's chair, subconsciously resting the other one Sara's shoulder. Sara glanced briefly at the stray hand before turning back to the screen. "I've watched all of the CCTV footage from the penthouse. There's nothing particularly incriminating, but I did find something interesting." The brunette tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "You remember that voicemail message on the vic's phone? I cleared it up and timed it with the video. Check it out:" She said, pressing a couple of keys and hitting play. The video showed a girl pulling her phone out of her bag, dialling, and a moment later she starts talking in time with the voicemail message from the victim's phone, the party noise now clearly audible in the background. Catherine leant forward to get a better look, and found that she could smell Sara's hair._

"_She lied." The blonde murmured, putting thoughts of Sara's shampoo aside for a moment. Sara sent her a puzzled look. _

"_What?"_

"_I spoke to that girl, she said she didn't know the vic. She lied. She phoned her less than an hour before she was killed." Cath elaborated. _

"_Well I can tell you that about five minutes after that phone call she leaves the room and doesn't come back." A wide smile grew across Catherine's face and without a second thought she planted a kiss on Sara's cheek. _

"_You're a star!" She beamed, before bounding out of the room, leaving behind a startled and very confused brunette, who could only mumble: _

"_You're welcome." _

_Catherine got half way down the corridor and stopped dead in her tracks as it dawned on her what she had just done. _

x x x x x

"You kissed her?" Nancy asked, incredulous.

"On the cheek, I kissed her on the cheek." Cath clarified.

"And you still think she has no idea."

"She hasn't said anything." Catherine shrugged hopefully but the facade faded fast. "I don't know Nance; this is all a big mess." She groaned. Nancy patted her sister's arm.

"No, maybe not. I mean, it's just a crush right? You're not in love with her or anything." Cath shrugged helplessly and Nancy's face fell. "Are you?"

"No. I don't know." At her little sister's expression Cath decided to settle for no.

"Right, it's just a crush. So you just need to take your mind off her, maybe find something else to focus on ... Or someone else."

"No!" Catherine said immediately.

"What?" Nancy asked innocently, her eyes going saucer-wide, which was a sure sign of guilt.

"No set-ups."

"Come on Cathy, I know some good people. Doctors."

"No." The strawberry blonde was adamant. "No blind dates."

"Look, you need to forget this girl. Just leave it to me." The lighter-blonde said, kissing her sister's temple and standing up.

"Nancy!" Cath growled, but to no avail.

"Ah hah, just trust me." She sang, patting Cath's head, and left despite Cath's protests. Alone, Cath growled again.

"Uh, I hate my life." She huffed to the empty garden.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for the reviews, glad you're enjoying it so far :)**

**Chapter 3**

'I hate my sister' Catherine thought for the millionth time that night. She had told her a thousand and one times that she did not do blind dates, and the sneaky little rat had set one up anyway. To give her some credit she had stayed true to her word; he was a good guy, a doctor. He was smart, and funny, and handsome ... and none of it mattered because try as she might Catherine could not care less about this date. No matter what she did, her mind kept wandering to...

"Catherine." His voice snapped her back and she looked up sharply.

"Huh?" She asked oh so eloquently.

"Are you okay?" He asked with concern, eyeing her closely. She hadn't said anything for a while and it was making him nervous. She thought about lying to him but what was the point?

"No, actually, I'm not." She answered brusquely. He looked like he didn't really know what to do with that so he shuffled uncertainly in his seat.

"Oh, uh, is there anything I can do?" Normally she would have found his discomfort quite cute. But not tonight.

"No." He seemed taken aback by her bluntness but she didn't notice as she stooped down to get her bag and stood up. "Listen, it was great to meet you but I've got to go." She rushed out, already backing away from the table. In a matter of steps she was outside in the cool night air, and finally she could breathe again.

x x x x x

"You look nice." The voice stirred her from her thoughts. She glanced up and smiled but didn't answer. After leaving the bar she had driven around and somehow found herself in the locker room at work. "Got a date?" Sara continued, tossing something in her locker and closing it again.

"I had a date." Cath corrected with a sigh.

"What happened?" Sara asked softly, scrutinising her. She looked worn out. Cath sighed again. "Bad guy?" Sara asked, sitting next to her on the bench.

"No, he was sweet and funny, and cute, he was just ..." she trailed off.

"Not the one." Sara guessed. Cath smiled at her and nodded slowly.

"Exactly." They shared a moment of silent understanding. Eventually Sara placed her hand on Catherine's for the briefest of seconds, but long enough to send shivers coursing through the blonde's body.

"You want to go for a drink? On me?" Momentarily stunned, Catherine found herself shaking her head, unable to form words.

"Rain check?" She stuttered out eventually. Sara smiled and nodded, touching her shoulder briefly in an act of comfort before departing as silently as she arrived, leaving Catherine tingling inside.

x x x x x

"What the hell is wrong you?" The voice made her jump so much she nearly fell off the couch. "Why did you run out on Doug?" Nancy demanded, appearing in front of her big sister with her hands on her hips.

"Who?" Cath asked puzzled.

"The doctor!" Her face changed to one of guilt.

"Oh." She whispered.

"Yeah 'oh'. He said you walked out without even an explanation. Or an apology! What the hell, Cathy?" She barked. Cath held up her hands in defence.

"Alright, I'm sorry. I just couldn't do it." She confessed. "And I did tell you I did not want a blind date." She pointed an accusatory finger at Nancy but dropped it when she saw that familiar raised eyebrow. "I'm sorry." She repeated genuinely. "But if it makes you feel any better I made an ass of myself later on." She said miserably. Nancy sighed and dropped onto the couch next to her.

"Why? What'd you do?"

"I went to the lab."

"And?"

"And Sara was there." Nancy rolled her eyes. "I told her about the date, and she offered to take me for a drink to cheer me up. And I said no."

"She asked you out?" Nancy asked, stunned. "And you said no!"

"She asked me for friendly drinks." Cath pointed out. "And I still said no." She finished dejectedly. Seeing her sister's misery Nancy softened her voice.

"You really like her don't you." It wasn't a question but Catherine answered anyway.

"Yeah, I do."

"So, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." Cath sighed, playing with the tassel on a cushion absently.

"What is it about her that's so special? I mean, you've worked with her for a few years; what's suddenly changed?" Nancy asked, leaning back against the arm of the couch.

"I don't know." Cath sighed. "She's sweet. And she makes me laugh about stupid things." A dreamy smile crept onto her lips. "And she has a nice ass." Her eyes shifted to Nancy's face when she realised that she'd said that out loud. "Urgh, what's happening to me?" She groaned, curling into a ball.

"So ask her out." Nance said eventually. Cath looked up in surprise.

"I thought you were against that idea."

"Look, I'll admit I was a bit shocked, and the idea of my big sister with a woman is kinda..." she searched for the right word, "...weird" she settled for at last. "But it can't hurt to give it a shot."

"Thank Nance, but after tonight I'm not sure I could talk to her let alone ask her out." Cath answered softly.

"Wow, you too nervous to ask someone out! That is something I never thought I'd see." Nancy laughed. Cath just sighed.

"Thanks sis. I'm going for a shower." She kissed her sister's cheek and departed upstairs, leaving Nancy to watch her disappear with concern.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hope y'all enjoying so far. Will try to make chapters a little longer in future. Let me know what you think :)**

**Chapter 4**

Well, at least she had been right about one thing; she couldn't talk to Sara. Every time she tried the words eluded her and it came out as a strange mess of babble. So, as a compromise, she had opted to avoid her at all costs.

Which was not working out fantastically well. She felt so awkward around the brunette, but for some unknown reason Grissom kept pairing them together.

And tonight was no different. When they arrived at their scene Cath immediately put Sara on the perimeter, eliciting a confused scowl from the brunette. Granted, it was the third time this week she had given Sara the junior task, but it was also the only way to keep some distance between.

If she had actually spent any time with Sara she would probably have noticed the increasing agitation brewing within her young colleague.

But as a result of her distancing, she didn't notice, and pushed all the wrong buttons.

x x x x x

"Hey Cat," Sara called, catching up with her in the hallway. "Have you got a few minutes? I've been checking the phone records, but there seems to be some anomalies with the dates. I was wondering if you could help me, I can't get my head around it." She asked nervously.

"I'm busy." Cath answered bluntly. "Just keep working on it; you're smart, I'm sure you'll work it out." With that she walked off, leaving the girl stood alone.

Stalking into her office, she kicked the door shut behind her, but Sara's foot blocked its path.

"Have I done something wrong?" The younger CSI asked, lurking in the doorway.

"What?" Cath asked, surprised that the brunette had followed her.

"Well you've been off with me all week. I was just wondering what I'd done to offend you." Sara stepped closer.

"You haven't done anything." Cath insisted, stepping backwards instinctively. She knew if Sara got too close her body would go haywire and she couldn't handle that right now. Sara stopped moving, frowning.

"So what's wrong?" Concern was underlying her confusion this time.

"Nothing."

"Something." She retorted.

"It's nothing to do with you!" Catherine shouted, taking Sara by surprise.

"Then why are you taking it out on me?" She demanded. "Whenever I talk to you, you walk off or just ignore me altogether." She pointed out. "If we're going to work together you need to talk to me."

"Just leave it Sara!" Cath snapped, running a hand through her hair impatiently. Hurt flashed through Sara's eyes briefly but she covered it quickly. She considered arguing more, but reigned in her temper in time.

"Fine." She sighed, stalking back out.

Catherine breathed out heavily, gripping control of her emotions. With a groan she kicked her trashcan angrily.

x x x x x

"My life sucks." Cath grumbled miserably. After their fight, she had not seen Sara again all shift. But then again she had not been trying to: she had cleaned up the rubbish she had sprayed all over her floor by booting her bin over, and spent the rest of shift sulking in her office. It had dawned on her at one point just how hard it must have been for Sara to come to her and ask for help – Sara never asked for help – and she had thrown it back in her face without so much as drawing breath.

With that thought in mind, she had given up trying to sleep so was sat up watching crap and eating crap. She sighed and flicked the TV off. In the silence, she felt so alone. And she couldn't even go watch Lindsey sleep, because her daughter was at a slumber party. Her eyes flicked to her phone.

With a burst of courage, she picked it up and scrolled down to a certain name, hovering over it for a second, before her confidence waned.

Should she?

x x x x x

"Oh God!" She moaned, directing them to the bedroom. Hands fumbled with her shirt, eventually ripping it off and tossing it aside. She'd find it later.

She tumbled ungracefully onto the bed. Coarse hands roamed across her body, gripping her breasts roughly. He sucked her neck, biting hard on her pulse point.

In the end she had not called Sara; she bottled it. Instead, she had called Doug.

She knew it was wrong, and that she would regret it in a few hours, but right now she didn't care. She needed something to take her mind off of Sara.

Unfortunately it didn't seem to be working, because all she could think about was the elusive brunette.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Hey baby." The husky voice mumbled in her ear as dark arms wrapped around her waist.

"Hey." She replied, leaning back into the embrace.

"Good day?" Doug asked, kissing her neck from behind.

"Meh." She answered vaguely, pulling out of the hug. In actual fact she had had a good day. She had been working with Sara and Nick, and – with their fight long since forgotten now – she and Sara had spent most of the night ganging up on Nicky.

And apart from that, she had caught a nice glimpse of Sara's ass as she bent over the layout table.

But she was hardly going to tell any of that to Doug.

So instead she ambled over to the kitchen table and sat down with her coffee.

"Everything alright?" He asked, sitting next to her.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" She asked with a frown.

"I don't know, you just seem ... distracted." He said, taking her hand. She pulled it back, completely missing the look of confused hurt that flashed through his eyes. She always missed it.

"Just, tough case I guess." She lied. It had actually been a relatively straight forward case tonight.

"Ah." He nodded. He heard that a lot from his girlfriend now. It seemed every case she had was a tough case.

They had been 'dating' for a couple of weeks now, although it was a strange relationship to say the least. Doug had been warned by Nancy that her sister could get clingy sometimes, but he found quite the opposite. If anything, she seemed disinterested in the relationship.

Occasionally she would display sudden bouts of neediness, but the rest of the time she seemed to be keeping him at arm's length.

And the bedroom was a whole different ball game. Sometimes she was like a demon on heat, and others she seemed almost bored.

He was very confused. However, he was not one to give up easily.

x x x x x

She knew that she shouldn't, but she was. She was using Doug to get over her crush on Sara.

And it was failing miserably.

Sure, she tried to convince herself that she was over it, and it didn't mean anything, but then she would see Sara again, and all it took was one Sidle smile to melt her resolve.

"Cath?" He called her back to reality again.

"Huh?" She asked, oh so eloquently. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"I was asking of you'd like to go out somewhere for dinner tonight, since you're off?"

"Sorry, it's a school night." She pointed out.

"Okay, I'll cook for you then." He offered, not one to be disheartened easily. Not seeing much choice, Cath agreed.

x x x x x

Catherine had never been more grateful to Lindsey than tonight. If not for the little girl's constant chattering then they would have been eating in silence.

Doug had a pretty good rapport with Lindsey, but sometimes he seemed a bit impatient with her childish ramblings.

Catherine was in her own little world for most of the meal, and left Lindsey to do the talking.

After dinner, she sent her daughter upstairs to do her homework, and began cleaning the dishes.

"Hey, leave that. Let's go relax for a bit." Doug said, tugging her arm lightly.

"No, it's okay. I may as well do them now." She insisted.

"Cath, come on. Leave it." He grinned, successfully tugging her away from the sink into the lounge.

In the living room they collapsed onto the couch together. There was little conversation between them, but the quiet was companionable enough. Cath settled into his arms, resting her head on his shoulder. She could feel his hands beginning to roam across her stomach, playing with the bottom of her shirt teasingly.

"Maybe we could move this upstairs." He whispered seductively. She smiled up at him, raising an eyebrow. Taking that as a yes, he tugged her up by the hand and practically dragged her upstairs.

She did have to admit; in the bedroom they had chemistry. And normally that would be enough for her, but recently she had lost her interest in sex.

And tonight was no different: she was fine and initially thought she had gotten over whatever was wrong with her, and then all of a sudden something seemed to change.

It was like her body stopped reacting to his touches. Normally she would be on fire right now, but instead his touches just felt rough and unfamiliar against her skin. Not that he seemed to notice her discomfort.

She closed her eyes and through no control of her own, the image of Sara changing in the locker room drifted into her mind. She focused on that; memorising the slender figure, the gentle curves, that tattoo. She had forgotten all about that. She wondered what it was.

Catherine had never been a big fan of tattoos, but she found something decidedly sexy about the thought of Sara having one. Perhaps more than one. She wanted to find out for herself.

As the feral part of her mind started mentally undressing Sara, her body began to react to Doug's course touch.

It wasn't what she needed, but it would do for now.


	6. Chapter 6

**Hope you're enjoying :) let me know what you think x**

**Chapter 6**

"Morning." Cath mumbled sleepily, rolling over.

"Hey there." Doug replied, rubbing circles on her back as she snuggled against his chest.

"You keep doing that you're going to send me back to sleep." She murmured, arching her back like a cat.

"Would that be a bad thing?" He kissed her temple. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck, letting his heartbeat lull her back to sleep. She was almost out when his voice filtered through the haze.

"Who's Sara?" All of a sudden she was wide awake. She looked up at him, startled.

"What?"

"Last night, while you were asleep, you said her name like half a dozen times." There was no suspicion or jealousy in his voice, just mild curiosity.

"She's just someone I work with." Cath answered, looking down. Just saying the words made her feel sad. "I must have been dreaming about her."

"Well it sounded like a nice dream." He chuckled. She blushed bright red, but he couldn't see. Subject dropped, he stretched and climbed out of bed. Seemingly unfazed about being butt naked, he ambled around the room for a few minutes, gathering up his clothes, and disappeared into the en-suite. She waited until the door closed before curling up in a ball under the covers with a disgruntled groan.

'Just someone I work with'. Well, she supposed she was. And that was what bothered her the most.

x x x x x

If it had been awkward before, it was damn near torture now. She couldn't look at Sara without last night's memory flashing back into her mind. But in her head it wasn't Doug touching her, it was Sara.

And now, every time her mind started to wander, it began plotting all the things she wanted to do to Sara. All the things she wanted Sara to do to her. With another groan, she dropped her head onto the desk.

"Hey, you okay?" Oh, anyone but her! With a sigh Cath lifted her head up and smiled softly at Sara, who was watching her from the doorway with a concerned frown.

"Yeah, I'm just ... stressed." Well, that was true.

"I gathered. I brought you something to help." She placed a cup of coffee – Starbucks, not crime lab sludge – and a muffin on the desk.

"You brought me a muffin." Cath frowned, staring at it dumbly.

"Apple and cinnamon. Your favourite." Sara said, slightly nervous that she's crossed a line.

"How did you know that?" Cath looked up, puzzled.

"Because I know you." Sara smiled, sending a strange feeling to Catherine's stomach. She smiled back, snatching the snack off the desk.

"Yeah, I guess you do. Thank you." It might have been the lights, or her eyes, but she swore that she saw Sara blush, ever so slightly. The brunette nodded and slipped out as quietly as she had arrived, leaving Catherine to swoon over her muffin in peace. She nibbled the edge, smiling contentedly to herself. She picked up the coffee and took the lid off, and her smile grew to a grin when she saw the little heart in chocolate powder on top. She knew in the back of her head that Starbucks did that a lot, but she didn't care. She took it as a sign.

One she couldn't possibly ignore.

x x x x x

With her sister's words in her head and a barrel of caffeine coursing through her system she took a deep breath and stalked into the break room confidently. However, one Sidle smile sent her way and she was a bag of nerves again. Regaining herself, she walked up to Sara.

"Enjoy your muffin?" Sara asked.

"Yes, thank you." She smiled. "I actually wanted to ask you something..."

"Sara, are our results in yet?" Grissom chose the opportune moment to interrupt, as per usual. "Hi Catherine." He greeted, getting an irritated mutter in return.

"I don't know, I was just about to go ask Greg." Sara replied, tossing the magazine she'd been glancing through aside. She got as far as the door before she remembered. "Oh, Cath you wanted to ask me something?"

"Forget it, doesn't matter." Cath mumbled, throwing herself into the seat Sara had just vacated. Alone, she grabbed the magazine. The first page she saw was also the last page Sara had been reading: horoscopes.

She glanced through hers quickly. Normally she took no notice of these, but this one caught her eye.

'Someone will surprise you today. If you're daring enough to take a chance and follow the signs, you'll get what you want. But, hold back and you might miss your chance.'

Well, she didn't need to be told twice. Before she left, she chanced a glance at Sara's.

'You will get an interesting offer or proposition today. Think carefully, it could be what you've been waiting for.'

The fact that the magazine was several weeks old seemed irrelevant at this point.

x x x x x

"Sara?" She asked, poking her head around the door. "Sar?" She repeated in a softer voice. The brunette was laid on the bench; one hand just grazing the floor, the other arm tucked under her head. Cath stepped forward. "You awake?" She asked quietly, though it was quite obvious she wasn't.

After reading the horoscopes, she had hibernated in her office for a while and procrastinated over how to ask her out. And evidently she had taken so long that Sara had fallen asleep.

She knew it was the wrong thing to do, but she couldn't help herself. She crouched down next to the bench and brushed a lock of hair from Sara's face. She looked around to make sure no one was watching, and placed a feather-light kiss on Sara's cheek. The brunette didn't stir, but that stubborn curl fell into her face again, and Cath brushed it aside again. This time, as her fingers swept across Sara's face lightly, brown eyes blinked open at her.

"Hi!" Cath stuttered out, nearly falling backwards. Sara blinked a couple of times and started to sit up slowly.

"Hey." She answered tiredly, frowning with confusion.

"You, ah ...you were asleep, I was trying to wake you." Cath stumbled to explain. Sara just nodded sleepily. There was a moments silence while Cath tried to think of what to say. She opened her mouth to ask her out, but what came out instead was not what she meant at all. "Grissom's looking for you."

What the hell?

Sara stood up and headed towards the door, uttering a small 'thank you' as she went. Just as she was nearly out the door, Cath decided to bite the bullet.

"Do you want to go for a drink with me?" She rushed out, causing Sara to turn and look at her oddly. Taking another deep breath she started again. "Would you like to go for that drink now, after work?" She asked, more slowly this time. Sara smiled and shrugged.

"Sure. Are the boys going?" Cath's heart sank a little. She had obviously misunderstood.

"No, I, uh, I thought it could just be the two of us." She explained.

"Okay, sounds good. It's been a while since we caught up." Sara grinned as she checked her watch. "I'll meet you in here in an hour?" She shot over her shoulder as she left. Alone, Catherine sat on the bench and released a shaky breath. That was not easy, and she had still fucked it up. 'After-work drinks'. That was not what she had had in mind.

On the other hand, she was going for drinks with Sara Sidle. And just because Sara didn't know it was a date, doesn't mean it wasn't.

She allowed herself a small smile as she pulled out her phone to text Nancy:

'She said yes! Date after work :)'


	7. Chapter 7

**I think you'll like this chapter :) Thanks again for the reviews, keep 'em coming x**

**Chapter 7**

"How's Lindsey doing?" Sara asked once they were seated in a quiet corner of a near-by bar with their drinks in hand.

"Good. Sort of. She's missing Eddie, but she's doing okay." Cath explained. "I never thanked you for that." She said quietly. Sara furrowed her brow in confusion. "For Eddie's case. You did your best and I was awful to you." She reached out and placed a hand over Sara's. "Thank you." Sara looked uncomfortable.

"You shouldn't. I never solved it."

"You tried. And I didn't make it easy for you." Cath smiled, and Sara smiled back. It struck them both that it was the first time either had ever acknowledged an argument and talked it out like adults.

Satisfied that the issue was buried, they made small talk for a while, and found that outside work they actually got on great. Catherine had never realised just how funny or playful Sara could be. She only ever saw the more sober side of her at work, and being here with her, she found herself falling for her even harder.

With a couple more drinks inside them they paid the bill and departed into the cool, early morning air. Sara sighed contentedly as they ambled their way to the cars. Cath watched her with fascination, loving this more free side of her. As they reached Sara's car they turned to each other and Sara started to say something, but before she could Catherine, for a reason unknown to even her, placed a quick, soft kiss on her lips. It was brief, but it was electric. Sara blinked at her. Catherine stared back at Sara in shock, not quite believing that she had done that herself. "I'm sorry." She rushed out breathlessly. Without looking back she turned and ran. Despite Sara – having found her elusive voice – calling her name, she ran and ran...

...straight under a lime green Cadillac.

x x x x x

"You're an idiot." Cath cracked one eye open, and promptly snapped it shut, but it was too late. "I know you can hear me." Nurse Nancy continued, hovering over the bed with her hands on her hips. She waited for a moment, and when it was clear that her little sister was going nowhere Catherine sighed and opened her eyes. She looked around, mildly bemused, trying to place the reason why she was hospital. When it all came screaming back to her, hitting her like a ton of bricks, there were no fireworks, no sharp intake of air. Just a quiet realisation of a stark fact.

"I did something stupid."

"Yeah, you ran out in front of a car." Nancy pointed out bluntly, "lucky for you they were going slow." But to her amazement Cath shook her head with a baffled expression.

"No." She stated obviously. "I kissed Sara." As soon as the words left her lips it dawned on her just how stupid that was and she covered her face with her hands, eliciting a muffled groan.

"You did what?" Nancy asked incredulously.

"Shut up." Cath mumbled.

"You kissed her! And that's why you ran away?" She joined the dots.

"She's gonna think I'm mad." Cath repeated her fear from earlier in the week.

"Why? I mean yeah she will, but isn't it normal to end a date with a kiss? Why did you run?" she asked, perching on the edge of the bed. Cath pulled a face, which gave her away instantly. "Cathy? What aren't you telling me?" Nancy demanded.

"She kinda didn't know it was a date."

"Why?" She asked again with confusion.

"Because I didn't tell her." Cath confessed in a small voice, with a shy little smile.

"Catherine!" Nancy exclaimed with a horrified expression.

"I was scared she might say no!" Cath defended herself, struggling to sit up despite her bruises.

"So you tricked her into going on a date? That's awful." Nancy scolded, less than gently encouraging her to lie back down again.

"It wasn't like that. I read in a horoscope that..."

"A horoscope?" Nancy asked sceptically. "You don't believe in that rubbish."

"Let me finish." Cath snapped. "The horoscope said I should follow the signs and take a chance. And that I would get surprised by someone. And she brought me a muffin."

"A muffin?"

"Yes." Cath said, scowling at the interruptions. "So, I followed the signs, and I asked her out. She misunderstood me and I just didn't correct her." She tried to explain, but even to her own ears the excuse sounded weak. "I screwed up okay, I feel stupid enough." She grumbled miserably, sinking back into the pillows. Nancy rolled her eyes at her big sister's petulant pout and folded arms.

"Well suck it up because there's someone outside who wants to see you." Catherine furrowed her brow. "And you've got some explaining to do to her." Her eyes widened.

"No!" She said adamantly. "No way, I cannot see her right now." Nancy placed her hands on her hips again.

"Hey, you owe her. She waited with you, she came in with you, and she's not left that hallway since you went into surgery." She pointed out, tapping Cath's bandaged wrist just hard enough to make Cath wince with pain.

"Ow!" She gasped. "Nancy please, I can't see her now!" Nancy offered her a vague wave of the hand and a half smile.

"Well if I leave her out there any longer she's gonna wear a hole in the floor."

x x x x x

Catherine shuffled as far under the blankets as she could with her eyes tight shut, working under the theory of 'I can't see you therefore you can't see me'.

It didn't work.

"Hey, how're you feeling?" Sara's worried voice filtered through the blanket. Cath opened her eyes reluctantly and offered a timid grin.

"I'm okay. A few bruises, nothing that won't heal." She laughed nervously, holding her broken right wrist up as proof. "You didn't have to wait." She said with a bashful smile, not so secretly pleased that she had.

"I was worried." Sara announced, making herself comfortable in the decidedly uncomfortable hospital chair by the bed. "You really scared me." Her voice sounded more vulnerable than Catherine ever heard it, and a pang of guilt shot through her heart.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. "And not just for running off. I'm sorry for..." she trailed off, playing with the blanket nervously.

"For...?" Sara pressed with a small smile. "Kissing me?" She guessed when Catherine made it clear she was not going to answer. She chewed the inside of her cheek and raised her eyes to Sara's.

"Maybe." She mumbled. At Sara's coy smile Catherine blushed a deep red. "Okay, I'm sorry." She conceded sincerely. She didn't speak again, causing Sara to prompt her with a soft nudge. "Last night, when I asked you for drinks I don't think ... I think you misunderstood." Sara frowned, letting her mind work through this. When it clicked her mouth opened and closed again.

"This morning. That was a date?" She asked, more bemused than anything.

"It was supposed to be." Cath said with a sad sigh. She smiled weakly. "More pathetic than I look huh?" Sara lifted herself onto the edge of the bed and took Cath's good hand.

"No, you're not pathetic." She paused for a moment while Catherine played with their entangled fingers subconsciously. "Why didn't you tell me?" Her voice was not accusing or angry, just curious.

"I was scared that you'd say no." Cath admitted shyly. Her head shot up with a look of hurt plastered on her face when Sara laughed at her answer. The brunette, however, held up her hands in apology.

"Cat, anyone who would say no to you needs their head checking." She explained sweetly. Cath's face changed from hurt to blushing in an instant.

"Really?" Instead of answering, Sara leant forward and slowly captured Catherine's lips in a chaste kiss. When she pulled back Catherine didn't move, except to raise an eyebrow.

"Do you mean it?" She asked with a smile. Sara pulled a strange expression and said:

"Do you need me to do it again?" Catherine's grin answered her question and she leant in again. However, just as they were close enough to feel each other's breath on their lips, the door crashed open and in clattered...


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"Grissom." Catherine announced, trying to hide her smile as Sara pulled away so fast she nearly fell off the bed. Grissom regained his sense of balance after his rather inelegant entrance.

"What happened? Are you alright?" He asked, brushing himself down as he walked toward the bed, where Sara remained unnecessarily close to the blonde. However, Grissom didn't seem to notice as he was too busy visually searching Catherine for any critical injuries.

"I'm fine." Catherine chuckled softly, raising an eyebrow at his bedraggled appearance. "Are you alright?" He frowned and straightened himself out.

"I'm fine. What happened?" He demanded. Cath and Sara exchanged a look.

"A run in with a Cadillac." Sara answered for her at last. He frowned again but nodded.

"But you're okay?" He asked again.

"I'm fine. It's just a few bruises." She insisted.

"We checked her head too but I think that's irreparable." The cheeky voice chimed in from the door. Sara and Grissom both frowned but Catherine just stuck her tongue out at her sister.

"Ignore her." She stated. "So, I can go home now?" She asked hopefully.

"Nope." Nancy answered bluntly, eliciting a scowl. "You're going to stay here for a few more hours until we get all the test results back, and then hopefully you can go home."

"I'll pick you up." Grissom announced.

"That's okay Grissom, I can do it." Sara offered instead, replacing Cath's grumpy face with a bright smile. This was the first time that Nancy noticed Sara and Catherine's hands interlocked in the blankets.

"Well, if that's sorted, I need to check her over." The younger sister hinted, and Grissom and Sara both understood. Gil patted her arm and turned to leave. Sara took the moment while his back was turned to place a quick kiss on Cath's temple. Nancy rolled her eyes as she watched the brunette practically skip out, sending Cath a sweet smile from the doorway. Alone, Nancy managed to wipe the smile off her big sister's face immediately by snapping on a pair of latex gloves.

"You're unbelievable." She breathed, moving the blankets aside to check the bruises and grazes on her legs.

"What?" Cath asked flippantly.

"You fool a girl into a date, kiss her, run in front of a car and still manage to swing yourself another date." Nancy explained, while she cleaned and redressed the wounds. Cath smacked her arm.

"What can I say? It's a gift." She sighed dreamily. She barely even seemed to notice the stinging pain in her legs.

"And, what are you planning on doing about Doug?" Nancy asked. Cath blinked at her.

"Oh, Doug." She exclaimed when she realised what Nancy meant. "I'll end it." She stated obviously.

"You're not going to break his heart are you? I work with him Cathy."

"I'll be tactful." Cath promised.

"Yeah, just don't tell him you've left him for a girl ten years younger than you."

"Nine and a half." Catherine repeated firmly.

"You're a cougar." She joked. Cath grinned lazily, not even caring to rise to the insult.

"I think I'm in love."

x x x x x

When Sara returned later on to pick Catherine up, the blonde was ready and waiting for her – sat on the edge of her bed swinging her legs impatiently.

"Need a ride, m'lady?" A voice from the doorway caught her gaze and she beamed. Normally she would have a comeback line to that, but apparently this is what it felt like to have someone make you speechless. So instead she merely held out her good hand for Sara to help her off the bed. However, she managed to misjudge the distance between her feet and the floor and practically fell into Sara's arms. The brunette caught her easily and helped her regain her balance. "Whoa, hey. You okay?" Sara asked, holding her close for an extra few seconds. Cath nodded and smiled shyly.

"Thank you." She mumbled.

"You all ready?" Sara asked. Cath gathered her things, brushed herself down from her stumble and smiled.

"Ready."

"Almost." Nancy interrupted. "Here," She handed Catherine a prescription. "Painkillers, _if_ you need them." Sara couldn't help but notice the look that passed between the two sisters. Catherine's eye darkened and she looked at the floor nervously.

"Why don't I go put this in the car?" Sara excused herself, taking Cath's bag. She figured they needed a moment alone to discuss whatever she was missing here. Catherine nodded gratefully to her, watching her walk away.

"I can't." She thrust the prescription back into Nancy's hand as soon as the door was closed.

"You can, just be careful and follow the directions." Nancy assured her.

"Nance, you know what I'm like." She whispered. "I can't."

"Cathy, please just take them."

"You know that these things are like sugar to me. If I start, I won't stop."

"Catherine it's been years, you can manage." Nancy promised.

"Why can't you keep them?" Cath compromised.

"What, and have you asking me to bring them around every hour when you're in pain. Don't think so." The younger sister scoffed. "Why don't you ask Sara?" Cath sent her a baffled look.

"What? You want me to tell her about..."

"No, just ask her to look after your painkillers and ask her if you want one. She won't let you go over your limit."

"And what am I supposed to say when she asks why?" Catherine asked, incredulous. "She's a trained investigator Nance, she'll know if I'm lying."

"Catherine please, just take them. It's just in case you need them." Nancy begged. Cath folded her arms, refusing to accept the piece of paper back. There was a quiet knock at the door and Sara peeked round.

"You ready?" She asked softly.

"Yes."Cath said pointedly, shooting her sister a look. Nancy watched them leave with a sigh. She noticed how Sara placed a hand on the small of Catherine's back, and how she kept casting concerned glances at her from the corner of her eyes.

"Hey, hold on." Nancy called, jogging to catch them up in the corridor. She held the prescription out to Sara this time. "Please make sure she takes these if she needs them. You can pick them up at the pharmacy desk." She was talking to Sara, but her eyes were locked with Catherine's, who was sending her glares to kill.

x x x x x

With the prescription picked up – much to Catherine's chagrin – they set off home. Cath had to give Sara directions to her house, but apart from that drove in companionable silence. Cath couldn't help but smile at the fact that Sara kept glancing at her with concern.

It made her feel all warm and tingly to know that Sara worried about her.

By the time they arrived at Catherine's house her wrist was starting to hurt, and it was not being helped by the fact that those little pills were burning a hole in her pocket.

x x x x x

Sara helped her inside and carried her bag upstairs for her. She had noticed that Cath seemed to be in more pain towards the end of the journey and didn't want to leave until she was sure she was settled, so started making a drink and something for her to eat.

Catherine could hear Sara downstairs and it relaxed her slightly, knowing that the brunette was still here. She didn't want her to leave yet. Something about Sara had a calming effect on her. And right now she needed it.

She leant against the bathroom sink, staring into her own blue eyes. She was sure she could see something staring back at her, something dark and unnervingly familiar. Her hand fisted the bottle of pills tightly.

x x x x x

"Hey, there you are." Sara smiled, setting a plate down at the table. Cath didn't move. "You okay?" Sara frowned, scrutinising her closely. Catherine shook her head. Sara was by her side in a heartbeat, hands on her arms. "What's wrong?" Cath looked into her hazel eyes. There was nothing dark there, just compassion.

"I need your help." She whispered at last.


	9. Chapter 9

**:) Had fairly bad day today, (which is funny because I'm listening to Bad Day, but i digress) so i decided to write. And i feel much better now, so i hope i can make you guys feel better too :) Enjoy x**

**Chapter 9**

"When I was a dancer, I got hooked on cocaine." Cath admitted quietly, staring at her hands. She could feel Sara's eyes on her from across the table, but daren't look at her. "When I fell pregnant, I tried to stop, and it was harder said than done. I started getting headaches a lot, so I used to take painkillers." She swallowed hard, trying to keep her emotions in check. "And I got hooked on them instead." She felt, rather than saw Sara move to the chair next to her. "It was years ago now, and I've always been okay since then. But I know how easily I can fall back into it and I..." She stumbled over what she wanted to say and settled for saying nothing.

"You're worried about taking these in case you get addicted again." Sara filled in for her, tapping the little bottle that sat between them on the table. Cath nodded glumly. Her eyes darted up to Sara's briefly before fixing back on a benign point on the table. "How can I help?" Sara asked at last. There was no judgement in her voice, just quiet compassion.

"I want you to keep them. That way, if I need them I can come to you, but I know you won't let me lose control."

"Okay." Sara answered softly. Cath looked up.

"You're sure?" She checked hopefully.

"Of course." Sara smiled gently, tucking a strand of hair behind Cath's ear tenderly. Catherine smiled and leant in for a quick kiss, which turned into a tight hug.

"Thank you." She mumbled against Sara's shoulder.

x x x x x

Catherine took one of the little white pills and opted for a shower to get the 'hospital grime' off her. Sara offered to leave her in peace, but Cath gripped her hand and begged her to stay.

To the brunette's utmost surprise, she dragged her upstairs. There, she turned to her with a shy grin.

"Could you ... I need you to..." She stammered, not sure how to ask this. She sighed and bit the bullet. "I need help." She said at last, holding up her fractured wrist. Nancy had helped dress her at the hospital because she was having great difficultly doing it herself, so she figured it was no use even trying to get undressed alone.

Besides, she had just confided her biggest secret in Sara, so why not let her undress her too.

"Okay." Sara said slowly, confused by this vulnerable side of the blonde. Cath unbuttoned her shirt slowly and Sara helped her to slide out of it, careful not to further hurt her injured wrist. Cath turned her back towards Sara and let the brunette unclip her bra.

"Thank you. I can manage now." She promised.

"Okay, do you want me to go, or..."

"No, stay." Cath insisted, nearly turning around and flashing her. "I won't be long." She said. Sara nodded and slipped out, leaving the bedroom door slightly ajar in case Cath needed anything.

Lindsey was staying at her grandmother's tonight, or today now, so Sara was at a bit of a lose end.

She opted for finding a book to read. She figured Cath had to have something she would find interesting and picked up a novel that was sitting on the table. She could hear the shower running in the en-suite, but after a few minutes she was so absorbed that she hadn't heard it stop and jumped when Catherine snuck up behind her.

"Don't do that!" Sara gasped, regaining her composure. Cath sat next to her with a cheeky grin. She was in a soft bathrobe and her hair was still damp, but she looked remarkably more relaxed than she had before. She tucked her legs underneath her and ran a hand through her hair. They lapsed into silence and Sara tried to think of something to say to ease the awkwardness. "Does it hurt?" She asked at last.

"A little." Cath answered absently. She had been too busy scrutinising Sara's features to notice the silence. "You have a birthmark." She stated out of the blue. Sara frowned in confusion. Cath reached out and stroked the purple patch of skin on her neck, just behind her ear. Sara matched her actions, touching the area with curiosity.

"I didn't know that." She mumbled. Cath smiled and continued to caress it softly, resting her wrist on Sara's shoulder.

"You have a tattoo as well." She smirked.

"I have four." Sara replied. "Which one are you talking about?" Catherine blinked at her.

"The one on your side. Where are the others?" She asked, shuffling closer eagerly.

"Guess." Sara grinned cheekily. Cath scowled.

"Your shoulder?" She guessed.

"Nope."

"Back?"

"One down."

"Let me see." The blonde said, trying to lift Sara's shirt up at the back.

"Uh huh. Guess the others first." Sara insisted, holding her clothes down.

"Are they somewhere you'd show the guys?" Cath changed tack, asking with a quirked eyebrow. Sara chewed the inside of her cheek.

"One is." She replied at last.

"Foot." Cath guessed immediately. Sara raised an eyebrow.

"Close."

"Ankle." She corrected, smiling when Sara nodded.

"Okay, so that leaves..."

The phone rang. With a disgruntled growl Cath reached over to answer it. "Don't think you're off the hook." She pointed at Sara. "Hello." She answered tiredly, and it was only then that Sara noticed how exhausted the blonde looked. Catherine turned to Sara and rolled her eyes. "Yes mom, I'm fine." Sara smiled. Some things never changed. Deciding to give them some privacy, she slipped into the kitchen. She could still hear Cath's muffled voice from the lounge.

Expecting it to be a long phone call, she started washing the dishes. However she was wrong. After a barely two minutes she felt something tugging on her shirt, and turned around the find Catherine trying to remove her clothes unnoticed. The older woman smirked.

"I know where it is."

"Oh yeah?" Sara asked, tossing the tea towel onto the side. "And where would that be?"

All of a sudden she was pinned against the counter. Catherine's lips were on hers in a fiery kiss, and a hot hand slithered its way down her back, into the back of her jeans.

"There." Cath mumbled against her lips, gripping Sara's ass. She felt Sara gasp, and used the opportunity to sneak her tongue past her lips.

So absorbed in their exploration of each other that neither heard the front door open, until...

"Catherine!"


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry for the delay, next one will be quicker i promise x**

**Chapter 10**

They broke apart just in time. "In here mom!" Cath called back, her voice unusually high.

Lily's head popped around the door and she marched up to her daughter, giving her a once over.

"What happened? Are you alright? Nancy told me everything, what were you thinking?" She babbled, taking Cath's injured hand and turning it over, examining it.

"I'm fine. It's just a fracture. I'll be fine." Cath insisted. Lily raised an eyebrow at her, but luckily they were interrupted.

"Sara!" The little voice squealed, appearing from nowhere. Sara bent down and scooped the little girl into her arms.

"Hey Linds." She grinned, balancing the child on her hip.

"Oh hello honey." Lily smiled, noticing Sara for the first time.

"Thanks mom, I can..." Cath started but was cut off.

"Have you eaten? I can make you something."

"I've eaten."

"A bath then?"

"I've had a shower."

"Well what are you doing up then, you need to get some rest." Lily snapped, dragging her towards the stairs.

"I'll leave you to get some sleep." Sara said, placing Lindsey on the floor. The girl ran to her mother and wrapped her small arms around her waist. Cath placed a hand on her daughter's head, smiling down at her, while answering Sara at the same time.

"Okay." She nodded sadly. "I'll ... call you. About ... what we were just talking about." She stuttered, blushing. Sara stepped forward, leaning in as if to hug her, and whispered in her ear;

"I look forward to it." She placed a sly kiss on Cath's cheek as she pulled away and ruffled Lindsey's hair on her way out.

Never mind blushing, Catherine was on fire now.

x x x x x

After being forcibly put to bed by her mother, Catherine had actually had a decent sleep. She awoke several hours later, surprised by how much better she felt with some rest. Her first memory of the night before was kissing Sara. With a grin she grabbed her phone off the bedside table.

"Hello." A sleepy voice mumbled on the other end of the line.

"Hey, did I wake you?" Cath asked, smiling at the husky voice.

"Um yeah actually, but its okay. How are you?" Sara asked, suddenly sounding more awake.

"Good." Cath smiled. "How're you?"

"I'm okay." She could hear the amusement in Sara's voice. "But I'm not the one who ran in front of a car."

"Ha ha!" Cath joked. They lapsed into silence for a moment.

"So," Sara started, not really sure what to say.

"So," Cath repeated slowly. "I had a really good time today. Until we got interrupted. Twice." She heard Sara chuckle on the other side.

"Yeah, that was fun. I mean ... not the interruptions but before." She stumbled. Cath grinned; she could practically hear Sara blushing.

"Well, I was thinking, since it's your night off, and I've got some spare time, maybe you could come around tonight and we could carry on where we left off." Usually confident, her voice betrayed her nerves.

"Hmm, I'll have to check my diary." Sara answered coyly. Cath smirked.

"Well, I should warn you I don't offer this to everyone."

"Then I better make the most of it."

"Good. It's settled then." Catherine smiled.

x x x x x

Nancy had checked Cath's hand again at the hospital that day and it turned out the fracture was not as bad as it first seemed, so the bandage had been replaced by a tight wrist support and she was told to rest it for a few days then try to slowly stretch it a little at a time.

It was still causing her a little pain, but not as bad, but she let Sara give her a couple more pain killers anyway, to take the edge off.

After putting Lindsey to bed, they decided to watch a movie. Sara was not bothered what they watched, so let Catherine choose, which was a bad decision really, since they ended up with chick flicks. However, Cath curled into her side on the couch, so she didn't care.

After the movie finished, they remained curled up on the couch for a while, just enjoying each other's company. They were idly discussing something funny that had happened at work when something very strange happened:

Sara giggled.

In all the years they had known each other, Catherine had never heard Sara laugh like that; it was a free, uninhibited sound, almost childlike. She loved the way a little twinkle appeared in her dark eyes, like some long forgotten light being turned on.

"I've never heard you laugh like that before." Cath smiled when Sara had calmed down. "Do it again." Sara frowned.

"Do what?" She asked. Catherine grinned and threw herself on the brunette, tickling her sides wickedly. Sara curled up in a tight little ball, trapping Catherine's hands on her stomach. Her eyes scrunched closed this time, and that laugh, that beautiful noise bubbled out of her lips.

Caught up in the moment, Catherine pressed her lips to Sara's.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

It was amazing how fast one kiss could turn into a full make out session. If they got any hotter there would be flames. Sure, they had kissed before but this was different.

This was leading somewhere.

Sara's hands found their way under Catherine's shirt, and the blonde suddenly broke apart, breathing heavily.

"You okay?" Sara asked, concern lacing her voice.

"Yeah, I just ... I" Cath stuttered, pausing to regain her thoughts. "I want this, I just ... don't know how." She admitted shyly, a blush creeping into her cheeks.

"We don't have to do anything if you're not ready." Sara assured her, brushing a stray lock of blonde hair from her eyes.

"I am." Cath answered, stealing a quick kiss. "I'm just nervous I guess. This is new to me." She confessed. Sara smiled and caught the blonde off guard by lifting her up into her arms, making her squeal. "What are you doing?" She giggled, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's neck.

"Helping." Sara grinned, carrying her upstairs. She placed her carefully on the bed, kissing her softly. "You sure?" She asked. Catherine met her gaze with a small smile.

"I'm sure." She captured Sara's lips once again, pulling the brunette atop her.

"Just do what feels right." Sara mumbled into the kiss. "If it doesn't feel right, we stop." She assured her. Cath nodded in agreement, too breathless to answer. They let their hands roam, tugging at clothes; fingers teasing soft skin tentatively. For once, Catherine let Sara take the lead, and found that she actually enjoyed being submissive. Sara's little touches and strokes were driving her crazy, and the brunette seemed to be purposefully taking her time. She touched, kissed and caressed every inch of Catherine's burning skin, before finally letting her fingers graze the area she needed her most.

"Please Sara." Cath whimpered, arching into her touch. Sara nuzzled her neck, peppering the sensitive skin with light kisses as she slipped two fingers inside her. Cath moaned, digging her nails into Sara's back, holding her close. One thing was for sure, she was feeling no pain anymore. As they moved into a rhythm all their own, and Cath felt herself getting close, she sunk her teeth into Sara's shoulder to stop from screaming. Her nails dragged along Sara's back as she arched into her, desperate for as much contact as possible. Sara didn't seem to notice as she continued showering Catherine with affectionate caresses and kisses while bringing her to new heights of pleasure. She could feel Catherine tensing beneath her touch and smiled into her skin. For Catherine, this was the most intense feeling she had ever experienced, and she was desperate to hold onto it for as long as possible.

Until everything faded to black.

x x x x x

When she awoke, she was wrapped tightly in Sara's embrace, and the brunette was drawing mindless patterns on her stomach. She turned in her arms and smiled softly.

"Hey you." She mumbled sleepily.

"Hey." Sara smiled back, kissing her cheek. Cath grinned and snuggled backwards, enjoying the warmth of Sara's body against her back. They lay in silence for a while, drifting between asleep and awake, until Cath rolled over so she was facing Sara.

"So Sara, is there any chance you'd want to see more of me?"

"There's more?" Sara asked cheekily. Cath swatted her shoulder. She kissed her lips softly.

"Hmm, last night was amazing." The blonde hummed, lazily doodling circles on Sara's chest.

"I gathered. I've never made anyone pass out before." Sara chuckled. Cath looked at her wide-eyed.

"I didn't?" she said, raising an eyebrow.

"You did. Scared the hell out of me." Sara tugged her closer, nestling her face in soft hair. Cath kissed her head softly.

"Sorry." She whispered. "I'll make it up to you." She promised with a feral smile.

"You better." Sara joked. They drifted into a peaceful silence, and Sara started to fall asleep again.

"Did I do that?" Cath's voice awoke her from her haze.

"Hmm?" She asked sleepily, blinking her eyes open. She glanced down, where Cath was tracing a bite mark on her shoulder. "I hope so, because if you didn't I don't know who did."

Cath bent down and kissed it soothingly. "Sorry babe." She whispered. "I promise I'm not usually like that, it's just ... you." She explained vaguely. "You have this effect on me."

"Terribly sorry." Sara mumbled.

"No you're not."

"No I'm not." She agreed with a smile. Cath chuckled and cuddled against her. "Did I really pass out?" She asked after a while.

"Mhmm. I was about to call 911 when you came to." Sara answered sleepily.

"How long was I out?"

"Not long. Less than a minute." Sara shuffled into a half-seated position, leaning against the headboard and blinking down at Cath, who nestled herself against Sara's hip. "You seemed a bit dazed but apart from that you were fine."

"I don't remember any of this." Catherine stated at last, waving a disregarding hand. She rolled to grin up at Sara. "But what I do remember was amazing." She nuzzled Sara's neck playfully, trailing kisses up her throat to her jaw.

"Is that right?" Sara croaked out, allowing Catherine more access to her skin.

"Mhmm." Cath mumbled against her throat. She nipped the sensitive skin with her teeth, darting her tongue out to soothe the sting.

"I thought you said you'd never done this before." Sara gasped, gripping the covers in her fists. Catherine spotted this out of the corner of her eye and, without halting her ministrations; she carefully prised Sara's fingers off the blanket and linked their hands. Then, without warning, she pinned Sara's arms above her head.

"I'm a fast learner." She smirked, kissing her hard on the lips. She shifted both Sara's slim wrists into her uninjured hand and let the other begin exploring.

Sara groaned into the kiss. Catherine opened her eyes, staring into Sara's brown orbs. The burning lust behind Catherine's blue eyes told Sara everything she needed to know right now.

This was going to be pure torture.


	12. Chapter 12

**Many apologies for the long wait, have been mega busy. Hope you like, let me know what you think x**

**Chapter 12**

Sara sighed contentedly as they wandered down the strip. Cath was window shopping lazily as they drifted alongside each other. They stopped outside a shop and Cath pointed something out. Sara stepped behind her, unconsciously resting her hands on Cath's hips to peer over her shoulder.

"Catherine?" A voice behind them asked. Cath instantly stepped out of Sara's reach and turned around.

"Hey Lucy," she smiled nervously. The redhead gave Sara a once over, raising an eyebrow at Catherine in question. "Oh, this is my friend Sara. We work together." She explained. Sara smiled in greeting but inside her heart sank. 'Work friends'?

"Nice to meet you." Lucy said. "So, what are you up to? Enjoying the weather?" She asked, gesturing to the drizzle. Cath laughed.

"Just a little shopping."

"Ah, well I won't keep you then, but you owe me a coffee." Lucy grinned, poking Cath playfully as they parted ways. Alone, Cath turned back to Sara to explain.

"She's a dancer. We met ... well, you can guess." She blushed. Sara nodded with a tight smile. They exchanged a brief glance before continuing their shopping. And Sara did notice how Catherine purposefully put more distance between them this time.

x x x x x

Apart from their little interruption earlier, they had had a good day and practically fell into Cath's house in a fit of giggles.

Calming themselves down, Sara took Cath's hands and kissed her softly.

"Let me take you out tomorrow night." She said suddenly. Cath paused, perhaps a moment too long.

"Actually, I was thinking I could make you dinner here." She offered instead. Sara frowned.

"You did that last week." The brunette pointed out.

"I like cooking for you." Cath grinned, kissing her again. She tried to slip her tongue between Sara's teeth but the brunette was not going to give up that easily.

"You do realise we've been together for nearly a month and we haven't been out on a date yet." Sara asked.

"We went on one. Our first date." Cath grinned, moving closer but Sara stepped back.

"What? The date I didn't know was a date? The one where you ran under a car? I meant something a little more romantic." She sent Cath a half-smile. "Come on, one night." She coaxed. Cath opened her mouth to speak but Sara cut her off before she'd even started. "I won't take no for an answer." She placed a quick kiss on her lips. "I'll pick you up at eight." She called over her shoulder, departing with a cheeky grin.

Cath just shook her head, a bemused smile on her lips.

x x x x x

As promised, Sara arrived outside Catherine's house at precisely six minutes to eight. The front door swung open as she raised a hand to knock.

"Wow." Sara whispered, hand still poised mid-air, as she took in Catherine's outfit.

"What? Too much?" Cath asked self-consciously.

"Uh huh." Sara shook her head, mesmerised. She stepped closer, placing her hands on Cath's hips as she leant in for a kiss. Her fingers glided up the silky blue dress, grazing the sides of her breasts, before submerging themselves in Cath's golden curls. The blonde pulled back.

"Hey, watch the hair." She joked. She stepped back and took in Sara's attire. The brunette was wearing black skinny-flared jeans that clung in all the right places, and a dark green fitted shirt. With a grin, Cath tugged her closer and kissed her again. "You know," She murmured between sucking Sara's lip, "we could just stay here. I'm sure we could find something to do." She added teasingly.

"We could." Sara mumbled against her lips, before pulling away. "But then you wouldn't get to show off that gorgeous dress."

x x x x x

By the time they finally made it to the restaurant, Catherine had lost all her earlier lust and suddenly seemed quite shy.

"Are you okay?" Sara asked after they were seated. "You've gone very quiet."

"I'm fine." Cath smiled to emphasise her point. "Really." She promised, reaching a hand across the table. Sara smiled back and took her hands, letting their fingers interlock.

But almost as soon as they did, Cath yanked her hands back, burying them in her lap.

"Can I take your order?" The waiter asked, eyeing them suspiciously. Cath looked down, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks. Sara frowned at her curiously as she gave their orders.

"Cath?" She called when the waited her disappeared. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She tried to lie. And failed, epically.

"You did that earlier too." Sara said quietly. "Pulled away, when that dancer saw us." She explained when Cath frowned in confusion.

"It's just...I"

"It's okay." Sara cut her off. "You're not used to being seen in public dating a woman." Her voice was not accusatory or angry, but Cath could tell she was hurt.

"Sara, it's not that." She lied. "I've never been big on public displays of affection, and we haven't exactly been together long. I'm still getting used to this new side of you." She got the feeling that Sara did not believe a word of that, but the brunette was kind enough not to call her on it. Instead, she smiled.

"Well, pay attention then, because the night is still young." She answered enigmatically.


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry its so short, but i am building to something big :)**

**Chapter 13**

"Sara, where are you taking me?" Cath asked, fumbling helplessly along the walls.

After dinner Sara had produced a blindfold and took Catherine on a little wander. She could feel the air getting colder, and had deduced they were in a little corridor somewhere.

"You'll find out soon enough." Sara promised, guiding her from behind, hands on her hips. "Don't you trust me?" She asked jokily. Right now Catherine wasn't sure.

They came to some stairs and Sara guided her up slowly, one at a time. At the top, she heard a door creak open and a sudden rush of cold air hit her bare legs.

They walked a little further forward and Sara told her to keep her eyes closed as she removed the blindfold.

"Well? Do you trust me?" That husky voice whispered against her ear and all she could do was nod. "One more step." She felt Sara guiding her up the last step, and suddenly the brunette's arms migrated around her waist, holding her tightly. "Okay, open your eyes." She did.

And found herself on the edge of a building. Her immediate response was to grip Sara's arms like a vice and gasp, but Sara's calm voice infiltrated her instinctive panic. "It's okay. I've got you." She assured her. Though she didn't move her hands, she relaxed a little in Sara's hold and let her eyes wander the view. The lights of Las Vegas illuminated the town, shooting rays of fluorescence into the desert like laser beams. She understood why Sara had brought her up here, it was truly breathtaking. Cautiously, Catherine stepped onto the next ledge, so she was literally stood on the very edge of the building's rooftop. Sara's grip tightened a little more, keeping Catherine safe in her embrace. Putting her entire trust in her girlfriend, Catherine let go of Sara and held her arms out to the side – now she truly understood how Rose must have felt in Titanic. Safe. Loved.

Free.

x x x x x

After leaving the restaurant, they drove to Lake Mead and parked up near the water's edge. Cath took Sara's hand and ran towards the lake, tugging her along. Suddenly she stopped abruptly, causing the brunette to tumble atop her. They hit the floor clumsily and rolled in the grass, playful laughter spilling from their lips. Their mouths found each other in the darkness.

They pulled apart, breathing heavily. Sara brushed Cath's hair out of her face tenderly. Catherine's hands disappeared under Sara's shirt, feeling the heat from Sara's body practically melt into her hands. Her fingers traced the underside of her bra before creeping underneath, caressing the sensitive skin.

Their lips joined again under the moonlight, and Sara moaned into the kiss, arching into Catherine's teasing touches.

"I love you." Cath mumbled against her lips.

Somewhere close by, a light flashed.


	14. Chapter 14

**Ah the angst! Let me know what y'all think x**

**Chapter 14**

As Warrick and Greg chattered amicably in the break room, Sara and Catherine opted for sending each other sultry smiles across the table. Catherine was pretending to read a magazine, but anyone watching would notice that she hadn't turned a page since she picked it up. She was too busy studying Sara's face from under her eyelashes. Her jaw line, her lips, her eyes...

"Alright gang, quiet night." Grissom declared, wandering in. "Boys, you've ... where's Nick?"

"Bathroom." Warrick answered.

"Oh. Well you've got a hit and run. Greg back to your lab. Girls, you get paperwork duty." They both tried to hide the smiles creeping onto their faces. Normally that would have been something to make the heart sink. But the thought of being alone, together, in Catherine's office all night ... well, it made paperwork sound a lot more fun.

"I don't know Gil, I wouldn't leave those two together unattended." Ecklie's smarmy voice drifted in from the threshold.

"What do you mean?" Grissom frowned.

"Well, I'm just saying, you leave them alone and ... things could happen." Their bald boss said as he ambled his way in, that Cheshire cat grin on his face. Sara frowned, while a slightly panicked expression appeared on Catherine's face. They exchanged a worried glance – he couldn't know...could he?

Grissom, completely misunderstanding, just scoffed.

"I think they can manage paperwork without falling out." He said with amusement. Sara and Cath did not fall out that often, but that was pretty much the only time Ecklie saw them.

"That's not what worries me." He smirked, locking eyes with Catherine who looked like she was trying to melt into the chair. "If what I saw this morning is anything to go by, I wouldn't expect the paperwork to be done anytime soon." Cath looked at Sara with wide eyes. Sara shook her head softly, trying silently to calm the blonde. He must be bluffing.

"What are you talking about?" Warrick asked, frowning. Without warning Ecklie pulled out a packet of photos, seemingly from nowhere, and dropped it on the table.

Catherine's face drained of all colour. Not bluffing then.

"What the hell?" Rick muttered, his green eyes settling on the top one. It was dark, but you could clearly see two people making out in the grass by Lake Mead. And despite the distance and the darkness, there was no doubt who those two people were.

"Catherine?" Grissom asked in a voice a little too high.

"It's not us." She blurted out immediately. She could feel Sara's questioning eyes on her, but was resolutely avoiding her gaze. Ecklie's smirk seemed to grow. "It's not me!" She repeated insistently, her voice wavering. They boys frowned, letting their eyes drift back to the photos. Grissom flicked his eyes from the photos between the two girls.

"Sara?" He asked slowly. Cath locked eyes with the brunette and shook her head imperceptibly, a silent message to back her up. "Is this you?" Without taking her eyes off Catherine, she shook her head.

"No." She answered quietly.

Catherine closed her eyes and swallowed. This was so not right. This could not be happening!

"I saw them with my own eyes." Ecklie butted in. "You guys do know that sex in public is an offence, right?" He simpered gleefully. As he said this Greg had just picked up a photo showing them both wearing significantly fewer items of clothing.

"Wow." He croaked. Sara opened her mouth to speak, but before she could Catherine snatched the photo back, purely out of instinct, and held it close to her chest.

"See, I told you." Ecklie said, pointing at her as if she were some fairground animal. Sara could see Catherine shaking from across the table and had had enough. She stood up and, without a word, took Cath's hand and led her outside.

"Get out of here Conrad. This isn't a playground. Go play your games elsewhere." Gil snapped, tossing the photos back at him. With a frown Ecklie collected his photographs and left, pausing in the doorway only long enough to say;

"Sleeping together behind your back. And they can't even admit it when the evidence is placed before them. Some team Gil."

The boys exchanged confused glances. The photos were convincing, but the girls' behaviour was undeniable. But...Cath and Sara?

"Alright Boss," Nicky's cheerful voice broke the silence. "What ya got for me?"

x x x x x

In the locker room Catherine stared at the floor. She could feel the brunette watching her but couldn't meet her eyes.

"Are you really that ashamed of us?" Sara asked quietly after a while.

"There _is_ no us." Catherine snapped tiredly.

"Could have fooled me." Sara implored. "Cath, is it really so bad if they know?" Suddenly her back was slammed against the lockers and Catherine's face was an inch from hers. For one deluded second she thought Cath was going to kiss her.

"There's nothing to know, Sara. It never happened." The blonde growled. Sara nodded numbly, too shocked to speak. Cath released her as quickly as she had grabbed her, and walked away, leaving Sara shaken and crying in her wake.

x x x x x

"My life's a mess." Sara mumbled miserably. She was sat in her car with her head resting on her folded arms on the steering wheel, listening to the Vegas rain beating down on the windshield. Through the fog in her head she heard the car door open and close. There was silence for a moment.

"I'm sorry." Catherine whispered. She waited for an answer that never came, so continued. "I was caught off guard. I wasn't ready for everyone to find out, especially not like that." She sighed.

"It's fine. Forget it." Sara's detached voice upset her even more than her words.

"I'm not ashamed of you Sar." She insisted, draping an arm around Sara's shoulders. She felt the brunette flinch in pain and withdrew her arm. She was about to ask what was wrong, when the scene in the locker room flashed before her eyes. "Did I do that?" she asked, not really sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"It's nothing." Sara mumbled, sitting up. Not accepting that answer, Cath undid the buttons on Sara's shirt and slipped the garment down her arms. Surprisingly, Sara didn't resist. There, dark and bold against her pale skin, were two bruises; one on either arm, and another spreading across her back where it had hit the lockers.

"I'm sorry," Cath choked, letting her fingertips caress the marks.

"It's ok." Sara replied, softer this time.

"No, it's not. I hurt you." Tears continued to spill from Catherine's crystal blue eyes. She leant forward and captured Sara's lips. "Let me make it up to you, please." She mumbled into the kiss, letting her hands begin to caress Sara's bare skin. Suddenly the brunette's hands gripped her wrists, halting their motions. She pulled back and fixed Catherine with a hurt glare.

"No. Sex is not going to fix this." She said in a wounded voice. "You won't let me anywhere near you in public; you won't let me take you out. You can't even admit how you feel about me to our friends."

"Sara, I..."

"Last night you said you love me. And today you say there's nothing between us. Which is it Catherine?" The blonde tried to answer but couldn't find the words. And apparently that was enough for Sara. "Until you decide what's more important; your reputation or me, I don't want to see you." Catherine's eyes widened at Sara's words. She wanted to say something, anything, but her voice was lost. And even when Sara got out of the car and started walking she still could not say a word. All she could do was sit and watch the love of her life disappear into the rain.


	15. Chapter 15

**It gets better soon i promise, bear with me. And i will try to update sooner next time x**

**Chapter 15**

She knew it was wrong. This was not how adults dealt with things. It was wrong and childish and not doing anything to help the situation.

But right now she didn't care. She was going to sit in this bar and drink until she couldn't remember why she was drinking. Screw work, she needed this.

She could worry about the repercussions tomorrow. If she survived the night.

"You look like you needed that." A voice behind her crooned. She turned around to find herself staring into dark brown eyes.

"Could say that." She found herself saying. The tall dark stranger made himself comfortable next to her at the bar and fixed her with a deep look.

"Well, let me buy you a drink, and you can tell me all about it." He grinned.

x x x x x

"Man, can you believe it?" Greg bounced eagerly.

"What?" Warrick asked, his eyes fixed to the microscope.

"Cath and Sara. Lesbian lovers... man I have waited for this day!" The young lab rat grinned. Warrick glanced up and fixed him with a disapproving look.

"Yeah, well until we know what's going on, you don't say a word. They looked really freaked as it was."

"Do you think they're alright? I haven't seen them all night?" Greg asked, serious now.

"I don't know. I'm trying to stay out of it." Warrick said. "And you should too."

x x x x x

But Greg couldn't stay out of it. Not when he found Sara alone in 'her' lab with dried tear tracks down her pretty face.

"Hey," he called softly. "You okay?" she shook her head miserably. He ambled over and wrapped her in a hug, which she returned tightly, burying her face into his chest.

"Is it that bad to admit?" She mumbled.

"No." Greg answered, not sure what she was talking about but guessing that's what she wanted to hear. Eventually Sara pulled back and tucked her hair behind her ear nervously.

"It's not exactly how I wanted you guys to find out either, but it's like she's ashamed of it. Of us."

"So, it's true. You two..." Sara sent him a half-smile.

"What? You hadn't figured that out?" She joked sadly. He shrugged with a smile.

"How long?" He asked, sitting down opposite her.

"A few weeks." She mumbled. "I really like her Greg. And I know she likes me. Why can't she admit it?" She looked up, new tears glistening in her eyes. He shrugged helplessly, but it didn't matter because she wasn't listening anyway. "It's like; whenever anyone else is around she daren't come near me in case someone sees us. Even complete strangers."

"Have you talked to her about it?" The young lab rat asked.

"I mentioned it a few times. But whenever I did we always seemed to end up sleeping together. It's like she thought that would solve any issues or I'd just forget about them." There was a hint of anger buried in her confused, hurt voice. Greg took her hand, getting her attention.

"So talk to her now. Find out what's going through her head, and make it clear to her that you only want to talk." He suggested.

"I can't." she shook her head. "I can't see her now."

"You know what my Papa Olaf would say?" Sara gave him a tired look. "Stop whining and change it. If you can't change it, live with it." She cracked a smile, getting the hint.

"Thanks Greggo." She mumbled, letting him wrap her in another warm hug.

x x x x x

"Oh God!" Cath groaned, digging her nails into his back. They had barely made it out of the cab before she pounced on him.

She couldn't even remember how they ended up here; all she remembered was leaving the club and, for reasons unknown, giving her home address to the driver. But right now she didn't care. She needed a release, and though this dude wouldn't have been her first choice he was here now, and that's what mattered.

Blindly, they stumbled up the driveway, groping each other roughly as she fumbled absently for her keys. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was glad that Lindsey was at Nancy's tonight.

Giving up on finding her keys for a moment, she moved her lips to his neck and sunk her teeth in. She was so caught up in her ministrations that it took her a whole minute to realise he had stopped reacting. Pulling back, she looked up at him.

"What's wrong?" He was frowning softly over her shoulder. She turned to see what had caught his attention.

Her heart dropped.

"Sara." She gasped.

Before she could say another word, Sara was back on her motorbike and disappearing down the street in a cloud of dust.

And the last thing Catherine saw in her face before she visor came down was pure, unhidden heartbreak.


	16. Chapter 16

**Nearly finished :) Thanks for sticking with it, and thanks for the reviews. Let me know what you think of this chapter x**

**Chapter 16**

"You're an idiot." Nancy repeated for the hundredth time. Catherine just shook her head, which was resting on in her hands.

"She hates me." She mumbled desolately.

"Well let's see; you refuse to be seen in public with her, you deny the relationship exists, you slam her into a locker and try to fuck her in the car. And when she actually comes back to give you a second chance, she finds you groping some random dude you met in a bar." She paused. "Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty safe assumption." Catherine glared at her darkly, not moving her head.

"Not helping sis." She muttered.

"What do you want me to say, Cathy?" Nance said tiredly. "You screwed up."

"I know." Cath ground out between her teeth.

"So..." Nancy pressed. "What are you going to do about it?"

"What can I do?" Catherine asked, looking up. She ran a hand through her hair wearily. "She's gone."

"So that's it? You're just going to sit here and mope." Catherine didn't answer, but her moody silence was enough. Nancy rolled her eyes and stood up. "You're pathetic." She sighed. "I'll call you tomorrow." She placed a kiss on Catherine's head and paused in the doorway to offer a final titbit of advice: "If you don't do something now, it might be too late."

x x x x x

Later, Catherine was curled up on the couch, pretending to read when she heard the familiar roar of Sara's motorcycle. She leapt up, running to the front door, her heart skipping with new hope. She flung the door open, just as Sara was raising her hand to knock. One look at the brunette, however, drained all of her hope. Sara stared at her with blank confusion for a moment, her hand still hovering halfway between up and down, and then her dark eyes clouded over with hurt.

"You came back." Catherine murmured quietly.

"I came for my things." She answered; her voice devoid of emotion. Catherine swallowed hard and stepped aside. She caught the scent of Sara's hair as she drifted past and had to clamp down on the surge of lust growing in the pit of her stomach.

In the bedroom – their bedroom – Catherine sat on the bed watching Sara pack a bag wordlessly, silent tears trekking their way from her blue eyes.

"You don't have to do this." She said at last, her voice hoarse. Sara didn't answer. A thought suddenly struck Cath: "You're lease is up." Sara nodded. "Where are you going to stay?"

"For now, Greg's couch. Then ... we'll see." She shrugged. Catherine shook her head slowly.

"You don't have to." She repeated. "You can stay here."

"No, I can't." Sara replied in a soft voice. She slung her bag over her shoulder and headed down stairs, followed closely by Catherine.

"Just one night then. You can have the spare room, or our room. I'll take the couch. Or you can have it... just, stay. One night." She rambled, trailing behind Sara all the way to the front door. Sara reached for the handle, and as soon as her skin made contact with the cool metal, she felt Catherine's hand close over her own. "Do you love me?"

"What?" Sara asked, looking over her shoulder into Cath's eager gaze.

"Do you love me?" She repeated, stepping closer, so they could feel each other's breath.

"Cath..."

"It's a simple question."

"Of course I do." Sara sighed. Catherine smiled weakly.

"So stay. Just one more night. Sleep on it." She pleaded.

"Why, because maybe tomorrow you won't have cheated on me?" Sara said sarcastically. Catherine's face fell.

"Please..." the blonde begged. "I know you don't want to leave. And I don't want you to." She paused. "Neither does Lindsey." There was a moment's silence.

"Cheap trick, Willows." Sara mumbled.

"Did it work?" Cath asked hopefully.

There was a dull thud as Sara's bag hit the floor.

x x x x x

Catherine didn't go to bed that night. She helped Sara set up the couch, since she refused the bedrooms, and checked on Lindsey. After that she just sat at the top of the stairs, leaning against the wall, waiting. Waiting until she was sure Sara was asleep.

After a while she decided to risk it and crept downstairs. Sara was curled up on the couch, her breathing relaxed and even. Catherine brushed the hair from her eyes and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. It was unbelievably tempting to crawl under the covers next to her, but decided instead to just watch her sleep.

And that's where she was 6 hours later, sitting Indian style on the floor, when Sara blinked her eyes open. "What are you doing?" She asked softly, letting her tired eyes drift shut again.

"Watching." Cath answered simply.

"Why?" Sara frowned and, though she couldn't see it, Cath shrugged.

"I like to watch you sleep." She said. Sara sat up slowly, letting her muscles wake up.

"Is that why you asked me to stay another night?" She asked, stretching. Catherine shook her head.

"I thought by morning I might have figured out a way to make you stay." She answered honestly.

"And have you?" She shook her head again, slowly.

"Just this." Without giving Sara a chance to react, Catherine knelt up and kissed her. It was a deep, passionate kiss. "I love you." She whispered. "I screwed up. And I know that I can say sorry a thousand times and it won't make a difference, because it's just words." She explained, taking Sara's hands in hers. She looked away to gather her thoughts. "Remember when we were first dating, and we were trying to figure out what counts as 'fourth base' when two women sleep together?" Well, I figured it out." Sara raised an eyebrow. "It's more of a sensual thing, like a joint emotion, rather than a physical act. It's when you let go; you trust them so completely that you're totally uninhibited. When, for that short space of time, you live off them; like they're your life support. And if they let go, you feel like you'd die." She swallowed back her tears. "That's what it's like all the time Sara – when I'm not around you it's like I'm drowning. And then you save me. I know I don't deserve another chance, but I have to try because if you leave then I'll drown. And there'll be no one to save me." She latched her eyes onto Sara's and waited for her to speak, drained from her little speech. Finally, Sara spoke, her voice thick with tears.

"Then why did you pounce on the first guy that walked past?" Catherine dropped her gaze, before lifting it back to Sara's face. There was only one answer she could give.

"I don't know." She sighed. "I wish I could answer that but I can't. But it did show me one thing: you're the one I need, the only one. No one else has the same effect on me that you do – it's like a different sense ... maybe I needed to be with someone else to recognise that for what it was." She shrugged helplessly, clutching at straws. "No one compares to you Sara, not even close."

Sara was quiet for a minute. When she did speak, she had lost all emotion from her voice again, which hurt Catherine almost as much as the words she spoke.

"You're right Catherine. It's just words."

Despite Catherine's desperate pleadings, clinging onto her with all her strength, Sara managed to reach her discarded bag and get outside into the early morning drizzle. Catherine practically crawled after her, still trying to pull her back. At the top of the wooden steps to the house Cath gave up, letting her girl go.

She watched Sara tear away from the house in a swirl of sand and gravel. Dust in the wind.

And Catherine was still there four hours later, sitting in the pouring rain with tears streaming down her face – still waiting for that guttural roar to come gunning back up the road. For her girl to come back to her.


	17. Chapter 17

**One more to go :) Thanks for the reviews x**

**Chapter 17**

Catherine did not sleep that day. So when she came into work, exhausted and unkempt, Warrick thought it best to get her out of sight before Grissom spotted her.

"I'm fine, leave me alone." She whined, letting him frogmarch her into her own office.

"You don't look fine." He retorted, forcibly seating her on the couch. She folded her arms and chewed on the inside of her cheek anxiously. "Come on Cath, what's going on?" he asked, sitting in the chair opposite her desk. "Is it about Sara?" Catherine's head flew up, eyes wide.

"Is she here?" She asked, a little too eagerly.

"I haven't seen her. Cath, what's happened?" He tried again. "Have you two had a fight?"

"We ... we're not..." She stuttered nervously.

"Cath, it's okay. We kinda worked it out." He sent her a warm smile. She stared at him for a moment, deciding whether or not to open up. Eventually she released the breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, and the floodgates opened.

"I fucked up Warrick." She sobbed. "I didn't want to hurt her, I ..."

"Shush, shush. Hey it's okay." He hushed, leaning forward and taking her into a hug.

"I just wasn't ready for everyone to find out yet. I'm not ashamed of her, I just ... I'm ashamed of myself. I knew what people would think of me, and I couldn't bear that." She mumbled against his strong chest once she had calmed down enough to talk.

"Cath no one's going to think any less of you. We love you, and Sara. We just want you to be happy." He promised.

"She makes me happy." Cath whispered, clutching him tighter.

"So go fix it." He said softly, releasing her.

"I can't." She sighed, running a hand through her unruly blonde waves. "She stayed over last night; I thought maybe it would give me time to think of something. But it didn't work. She left me."

"Because you wouldn't admit you were together?" Warrick frowned. That didn't sound like Sara. Cath looked down guiltily.

"There was a guy." She muttered.

"What?" He asked, leaning closer.

"After we left work that night, I went to a bar to ... I don't know why. But, Sara came to my house to talk to me, to work it out. And she found me with a guy."

"Oh Catherine." Warrick gasped.

"I didn't sleep with him!" She said instantly, more tears springing to her eyes.

"Would you have, if Sara hadn't turned up?" He asked, not judgementally, just making a point. She looked away sadly; an act that spoke a thousand words.

"She hates me." The blonde mumbled, wiping her eyes.

"She doesn't hate you. This is Sara we're talking about." Warrick paused for a moment. "Do you love her?" Catherine looked up.

"Yes." She answered definitively.

"Does she know?"

"I told her more times than I can count; if she doesn't she needs her head checking."

"So prove it." Warrick said.

"How?" she asked desperately. Warrick, however, just smiled.

"That," he said, standing up and kissing her forehead softly, "is for you to work out."

x x x x x

"Are you planning on doing any work tonight?" The voice brought her out of her thoughts and she glanced up tiredly to find Grissom leaning against her doorway with a raised eyebrow.

"No." She answered bluntly, and went back to staring at the floor. Unfortunately he didn't give up that easily.

"Sara's not talking, but I spoke to Greg. He said you hurt her." Cath nodded. Judging by the disgusted looks she was receiving from the former lab rat, Catherine had come to realise that her actions had affected her relationship with Greg too. He was understandably hurting for his best friend, and was making no bones about that. "I spoke to Warrick too. He told me what happened." He continued, ambling in and sitting where the dark skinned man had previously been.

"And I suppose you're here to shed some philosophical light on the matter?" She asked sarcastically.

"No. Actually I came to tell you that you're an idiot." He replied calmly. She scowled up at him. It was not like Grissom to be so forward. But if that was a surprise, what he said next was shocking.

"Catherine, you know how I feel about Sara." He started, licking his lips thoughtfully. "You hurt her. And if it were anyone else I'd tell them to stay away from her. But it's you. And I think you do love her."

"Gil, I..."

"No, let me finish." He stopped her. "Catherine, Sara and I dated. A long time ago, and I messed up. I lost her. I could have done something about it then, but I didn't and now it's too late. But it's not too late for you."

"What are you saying Gil?" Catherine asked softly.

"I'm saying if you love her fight for her. I lost her Catherine, and it was the biggest mistake of my life." He stood up and made to leave, but stopped in the doorway just long enough to deliver one final message. "When she wanted to leave the lab, I sent her a plant. But you said something to make her stay. I don't know what, but it worked. You know her Catherine; you know how to fix this."

x x x x x

She remembered that day. She had told Grissom to fix it, and he sent her a plant. As soon as he ordered that damn thing she knew she was going to have to step in if there was any chance of keeping Sara here. At the time it had never occurred to her why she was so desperate to keep that stubborn, frustratingly enigmatic brunette in her life, but she knew now.

And it was only now that it dawned on her why she stayed.

When Catherine had found Sara, alone in 'her' lab, staring morosely at a plant, she hadn't planned what she was going to do. It just happened. She walked over and gave her a hug. No words; she just wrapped her arms around her; held her tight. She placed a soft, chaste kiss on her lips, and walked out.

She had wanted Sara to stay because she loved her.

And Sara had stayed.

And suddenly everything seemed so simple.

As if something in the universe had suddenly aligned, she looked up in time to see Sara wandering past. Without a second thought she was out of her seat and sprinting down the corridor.

"Sara!" She stopped abruptly upon hearing her name. Slowly she turned around. Catherine cleared the distance between them in a heartbeat. And suddenly her hands were on either side of Sara's face, and her lips on Sara's. The kiss was fierce and passionate, desperate. Catherine felt Sara gasp at the sudden assault and took the opportunity to slip her tongue inside. Her hands slid around Sara's neck to tangle themselves in her hair, holding her close.

And just as quickly as it had started, it stopped. Catherine pulled back, offered a small smile, and walked away, leaving in her wake a hallway full of shocked spectators, and one very perplexed brunette.


	18. Chapter 18

**Final chapter :) Hope y'all enjoyed this fic, let me know what you though. **

**Thank you for all who read and reviewed :) You guys rock! x**

**Chapter 18**

For a whole minute Sara didn't move. And it was only when she looked up and realised half the lab was gawping at her like a rare zoo animal that she turned on her heel and followed Catherine's footsteps to the locker room.

Cath was pacing anxiously, albeit rather pleased with herself, around the low bench. She felt, rather than saw Sara enter and turned around.

"What the hell was that?" Sara asked, more confused than anything. Catherine smiled, shyly this time.

"You think I'm ashamed of us. Of what we were doing. Well I'm not." She explained, stepping closer. Sara frowned and stepped back. Undeterred, Catherine continued "I love you Sara. And I don't care who knows it."

"And you think that changes everything? That all of a sudden I was going to forget what you did?" Sara asked, throwing her hands up helplessly.

"Marry me." The blonde gushed.

"What?" Sara asked, not sure she had heard that correctly.

"Marry me. I love you; I want to be with you."

"You don't want to get married again. You told me that." Sara reminded her of a conversation they had had a couple of weeks before. "You said you couldn't face the thought of going through it all again in case you got your heart broken again."

"But I would. For you." Cath insisted. "Sara, I'd do anything for you." For the first time, Sara's features softened.

"You'd go through all of that again, just to prove a point to me?" She asked. Catherine stepped closer, and this time Sara didn't move.

"I'd move to the ends of the Earth for you, darling. I love you." They were both so caught up in each other's gaze that neither had noticed Warrick and Greg appear in the doorway, watching them with nervous curiosity. There was silence.

"You're crazy Cat." Her empty voice made the boys wince, but they couldn't see what Catherine could: that little sparkle in her eyes and that adorable half smile. Cath stepped closer still, a cautious smile playing on her lips, closing the gap between them. Slowly, she pressed their lips together.

The kiss was soft this time, tender.

Warrick chuckled quietly, patting Greg on the back. The young lab rat was grinning eagerly, all earlier animosity forgotten for the time being – if Sara was happy he was happy, and right now Sara looked pretty damn happy.

Still unaware of their presence, Catherine buried her hands in Sara's hair and deepened the kiss.

However, an amused Texan voice broke the moment.

"Why am I always the last to know around here?"

**~fin~**


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